when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
