actually, I'm a sock model
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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