At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
