Screwed.edu
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize