tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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