For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he was CRYING into my vagina
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
