CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
