Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
