wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
