I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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