i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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