so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
