my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
