I want to make a zoo with you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
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