honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
