i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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