Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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