I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
