gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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