Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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