omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
