It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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