Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
