people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
