before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
