...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
