Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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