ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
