Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
