i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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