i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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