when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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