My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
