Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
