I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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