turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
