Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize