the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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