we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
