pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
