I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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