Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
