Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
