So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Randomize
