I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
