Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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