I can tuck mytits in my pants
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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