I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
