My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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