is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
