Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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