Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?