Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
