your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
