I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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