Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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