they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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