I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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